Gay Love Is OK

What is it?

Anal sex encompasses a variety of commonly practised sexual activities.  Although there is nothing remarkable about them in practical terms, there are taboos surrounding them that may arouse strong feelings of moral indignation and anxiety.  It is important to remember that while some people find these activities repugnant, others may find them stimulating, exciting, and a normal part of their sexual intimacy.

Most sexual activities carry a risk of transmission of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) from gonorrhoea and herpes, to hepatitis B and HIV.  There is evidence that anal intercourse carries a higher transmission risk than almost any other sexual activity. Information about these risks is given below.

Consent

What consenting adults enjoy sexually in the privacy of their homes is their own business provided that the law does not prohibit it.  The key issues are legality and consent.  In the UK, anal intercourse is a legal activity between consenting men and women aged 16 and over, in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships, except in Northern Ireland where it's 17 and over.  In some countries it is a criminal offence punishable by long custodial sentences, corporal or even capital punishment.

Consent freely given by both partners is an essential feature of sexual activity in a loving relationship.  Many individuals, both men and women, may have secret fantasies involving anal intercourse but feel unable to discuss them with their partner.  Some may try and pressurise their partner to have anal intercourse, even though the partner does not share their interest and while some partners will reluctantly acquiesce, others may be pressured or even physically forced to allow it.

Forcing or pressurising a partner to submit to an activity that they find distasteful or degrading is completely unacceptable behaviour.  Intoxication with drugs or alcohol is associated with lowering inhibitions and experimentation with unusual or unsafe sexual behaviour and can lead to serious consequences.  It should be remembered that in the absence of freely given consent, the very serious criminal offences of assault and rape are committed.  Therefore, it is essential that both partners agree that they wish to try it as a part of their sexual repertoire and that they are sure of the legal position on anal intercourse in the country of their residence.

What does it involve?

Anal sex may include the following activities:

• anal intercourse - penetration of the anus with the penis or, possibly, with a dildo or vibrator.
• fisting - insertion of the fingers, hand, or even the forearm, into the anus.
• rimming - oral contact with the anus for sexual stimulation.

Who does it?

There is a common misconception that anal sex is practised almost exclusively by gay men. This is certainly not the case.  An estimated one third of gay couples do not include anal intercourse in their lovemaking with about one third of heterosexual couples doing so from time to time.  About 10 per cent of heterosexual couples have anal intercourse as a regular feature of their lovemaking.  In absolute numbers, more heterosexual couples have anal sex than homosexual couples.

This advice is by kind permission of   The Lovers Guide  © 2005-8 Lifetime Productions International Ltd, all rights reserved.

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