Gay Love Is OK

Let's assume you meet on a website, or in a chat room or any of the numerous other ways people find each other.

Conversation comes easily, and something just seems 'right' this time.  The two of you share some interests, and you're hoping this might be more than just another 'hook-up'.

Don't lie about your age or any other key information.  If you do hit it off, you'll have to come clean at some point.  The truth will eventually come out.

Consider a casual coffee date during the day time instead of late dinner, a movie and then the bars.  You'll minimise the sexual tension and the social pressures by getting together for coffee or lunch.
All that other stuff can come later, AFTER you find out if the two of you have the basis for a friendship, upon which you might build a partnership.

Treat your date with respect - be on time and make sure you look good, not scruffy and couldn't care less. If you have to cancel give him as much notice as possible.

Meet in a public place because a public place is 'neutral'.

Have a real conversation.  Be natural and relaxed because you won't make a good impression if you sound like a human resources specialist in a job interview, going through your 'checklist' question by question.
Volunteer information about yourself, but don't dominate the conversation.

Try to discover whether you share common goals, ideals and expectations and have similar values.
Don't discuss your previous lovers in too much detail because your date may not wish to hear about every moron who hurt you in the past.  Couples usually share all that at some point, but you have to get past the first date for that to happen.

When you're looking for a partner for a long-term relationship you're not likely to find Mr Right on the very first date.  Play the field but not so much that you become a slag or slut.

Treat yourself with respect! Don't consume too much alcohol!  Try not to make too many stupid jokes! and above all don't insult him by making fun of him!

When someone just isn't for you, but asks you to go out again, politely convey that you're not interested. It won't get any easier to say 'no' after the second or third message is left on your answering machine.

This advice is by kind permission of   The Lovers Guide  © 2005-8 Lifetime Productions International Ltd, all rights reserved.

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