Gay Love Is OK

Though gay relationships, by their nature, have more sexual undertones, they are no less in need of commitment, security and fidelity than those in heterosexual relationships.  The process of getting to know a gay partner is also no slower or faster; it takes the same investment in time and effort.  Once you have made that steadfast resolution to take the gay dating exercise seriously, take note of the following tips of making this activity more fun, fulfilling and goal-oriented.

Be selective.  The idea behind dating is exploring the possibility that you and this person may be romantically involved in the future.  As much as you would want to date as many gay men as possible, limit your encounters to three to five per month.  Being selective permits you to exercise patience, perseverance and control in the dating process.  Do not be in a hurry to find Mr Right.  It takes time, effort and several dating occasions to know the deeper side of your potential mate.  Investing a little time in searching for THE one is a small price to pay to get it right?

Do not distract - attract! Tonight's the night! You're going out on a date.  Whether homosexual or not, the dating basics still apply.  These include being prepared - both physically and mentally - for the event.  Dress up appropriately and project an image worth respecting.

Talk, but don't talk your head off.  The basic talking and listening skills likewise apply.  Avoid talking about negative, tragic or miserable past experiences during the early dating stages.  NOBODY wants to date a whiner.

Listen with true interest.  If you really like your date, listening attentively tells him you are interested which in turn makes YOU a likely long-term relationship candidate for him.  Also, avoid talking about your hang up's about being gay.  The last thing you want to discuss with him, especially on a first date, is how difficult gay dating and gay relationships can be.

Talk about worthwhile topics such as common interests, values and prevailing motivators.  Try to sustain interest and enthusiasm in each other for the first few encounters.

Bring your wallet. Even if he was the one to invite you out, be prepared.  If you guys are trying out a new restaurant, it's always better to have extra cash for any 'surprises'.  Also, you don't know how the night will turn out.  You can end up leaving him or him leaving you, so ensure that you can always get back home with or without him.

Bring a gift.  If you're having a dinner date at his place bring a bottle of wine, a book he casually mentioned that he liked and has been looking for, food to compliment what you'll be eating or anything that would make him feel that the dinner date is appreciated - but don't be extravagant!

If this is a first date, you don't really know him yet and he might get offended.  Bring a simple and 'non-committal' gift as well.  I mean silk ties might make him want jump out the window.  The thing to keep in mind here is a little thoughtful something.

To ask or not to ask.  Ok, you REALLY like him, but does he feel the same way about you?  Of course you can ask him out or casually ask about his plans for next weekend don't push but if you're sure he likes you back and want to lead this time, by all means, ask him out!

Delay gratification - that is, sexual gratification.  The question here is do you like this guy FOR NOW or FOREVER.  If you're looking for your lifetime partner, chances are, it would be better to delay having sex.  The rule of thumb is no sex for the first three dates.  Ouch! But do consider this.

Bring a condom. When the waiting is done and you guys are now sure you want to take the relationship to a higher level, do practice safe sex after your hot date!

This advice is by kind permission of   The Lovers Guide  © 2005-8 Lifetime Productions International Ltd, all rights reserved.

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