Gay Love Is OK

1. When you are ready to meet

The advantage of online services is that you can basically date online, talk to each other, look at each other and get familiar with each other.  This allows you to collect as much information as possible before agreeing to go on a date.

If you decide to change your mind and cancel at the last minute then do so.  Do not feel obligated to commit to the date instead trust yourself and follow your instincts.

2. Keep a friend informed

Before you go on your date make sure you tell a friend or family member where you are going and when you will return.  Give them your date's full name and telephone number.

To be extra careful, plan to take a friend along, at least at the beginning to meet your date and have your friend meet up with you again at a pre-arranged time.  Work out a signal with your friend to indicate whether you would prefer that he or she stay with you.  This may seem unfair to your date but it's better safe then sorry.

You should also take your mobile phone with you and make sure your friend is contactable too.

3. Meet in a safe place

When you choose to meet offline, never arrange for your date to pick you up at your home.  Be on time.

Meet in a public place at a time when many people are around.  A familiar restaurant or coffee shop, at a time when a lot of other people will be present, is often a fine choice.

Do not leave your drink unattended.

Avoid going to another location but if you have to, only go if the you're familiar with the place and you know there will be a lot of people around.

Always travel in your own car too and make sure you always park your car where there's traffic or people around.  Make sure you have a mobile phone with you at all times.

Keep in mind that even though you're taking measures to protect yourself doesn't mean your date has to be in the company of a scared person.  Once you're with your date and you've got people around, try to relax.  Be yourself and enjoy your time.

When it is appropriate, thank your date for getting together and say goodbye. Leave on your own as well or as mentioned, have a friend meet you.

4. Meeting outside your area

If you are driving in from another city, arrange for your own means of transport and hotel room.

Do not disclose the name of your hotel and never allow your date to make the arrangements for you.

Drive directly to your hotel and call your date from the hotel or meet at the location you have already agreed to.

If the location seems inappropriate or unsafe, go back to your hotel.  Try to contact your date at that location or leave a message on a home machine.

Always make sure a friend or family member knows your plans and has your contact information.  And if possible, carry a mobile phone at all times.

5. Danger

If you are in any way unsure of your date, use your best judgment to get out of the situation.  This is where having a friend nearby is an advantage.  Otherwise ask someone else on the scene for help or excuse yourself and slip out the back door.

If you feel you are in danger, do what you can with what's available or call the police.  Do what you can to get away; flagging down a cab comes to mind. The cab driver maybe a little afraid but at least you're safe.

Don't ever feel embarrassed about your behaviour; your safety is much more important than what people think of you.

This advice is by kind permission of   The Lovers Guide  © 2005-8 Lifetime Productions International Ltd, all rights reserved.

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