Gay Love Is OK

Anal sex is often seen as the main form of gay sex.  You might think that if you're not doing it you must be some sort of second rate lover but this is not true,  It can hurt at first and come as something of a shock to the system.  It might well be termed an acquired taste but if you still fancy it here are a few tips on how to begin to acquire it.

Spend time on your own discovering your anus before having sex with others.  Put some lube on a finger, work it around the outer anus, stay there awhile, and start pushing it in.

The sensations you get might already be quite intense.  If you're unsettled, use your other hand to masturbate and reassure yourself with feelings with which you're familiar.  Allow yourself to enjoy the new feelings then relax and feel free to fantasise.

Explore and get a sense of the shape and texture of yourself and then, when you're comfortable, try inserting a second finger.  Be careful, but rest assured your anus can certainly cope with this.

When you withdraw you might feel you want to defecate, this is normal and probably nothing will happen.  If anything does, don't worry, it will clean up when you're done and there's no shame attached.  It's just a reflex reaction.

You might also want to experiment with something more life-size.  If so, use a proper dildo - not a bottle or a cucumber - you don't want to scratch the lining of your anus or have something nasty break off in there.

When using the dildo, begin again with your fingers and use a lot of lube.  You need to find a relaxed position sitting with your ass to one side can work well.  If you're standing, make sure your legs remain relaxed because if they tense, the sphincter will follow.  Push it in slowly, don't force it, don't sit on it.

When you encounter resistance, pause and relax.  If you push your anus towards the dildo, as if you were pushing faeces out, you might find you open more easily.  There might well be a moment of pain but after this, the rest of it will probably slip in a lot more easily.

The sensations that follow are complex.  When you relax, the pain will probably slow down and give way to a sense of elation.  It can feel breathtakingly high, as if every connection in your body and brain just started firing.  Your instinct might be immediately to masturbate and come in a way more dazzling than you ever have before.  One thing you are doing now is learning to ride this pleasure.

Move the dildo slowly and give yourself time to get used to it.  It might be that's enough for the moment, or it might be that you want to experience a faster pace - the pace of sex - and for as long as it would take a man fucking you to come.

If it's the latter you want, be careful because the dildo can go as fast and as hard as it can and experience no pain of its own.  In other words, a dildo is NOT the same as a penis.  Also, the loose skin around the shaft of a penis will lessen the friction on the anus, even though the head might be pumping quite hard and your buttocks might be getting a pounding.

Get ready to make some noise because the feelings may become intense to the point of mindlessness.  You might start groaning, shrieking, gurgling and sobbing but there comes a point when it is as if there is a barrier to cross.  You can cross that barrier to find a further degree of elation.

At last, there is a point where you level out and you might want to stay there a little while, as it were to admire the view, then pause and prepare for the final shock, which is when you withdraw.  It is possible you might make a mess so in order not to feel anxious about this, have a towel down or do it over a toilet or an easily cleaned surface.

Be aware that, after the high, there is a downside.  After using a dildo, just as after having sex, your anus might take time to close and you might want to spend time sitting on the toilet relaxing and calming down.  Also, the mess you might make risks leading to feelings of shame and humiliation.  Mentally, you might feel unfocused and 'spaced' for hours to follow.

Anal sex is not 'natural' and when you first have anal sex be prepared to make further discoveries.  On the one hand, if you're the bottom, you are showing that man something intimate about yourself.  You are experiencing ecstatic sensations with him watching you and you have to want him to do that.  On the other hand, you'll be seeing someone else working his way towards orgasm differently from what you'll have seen and shared when masturbating or giving and receiving head.

Be prepared for the feeling of passivity.  If you resist being passive and wanting him to do it to you, perhaps thinking that makes you less of a man, then, no matter your preparation, you'll be in for a bad time.

If you accept all the feelings involved in having anal sex, then it can be wonderful.

This advice is by kind permission of   The Lovers Guide  © 2005-8 Lifetime Productions International Ltd, all rights reserved.

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